i will love... being a romantic

you know when we were five and we played “house” and i put on my toy apron and cooked some plastic hamburgers for my imaginary husband? well… let’s just say “playing house” never really left my things to do list. i may not put on aprons (that you know of) and cook plastic patties, but i do still daydream about what it would be like to be a wifey. i know… i know… my friend Grace would cut me in half if she knew the stories i make up in my mind… but i can’t help it! this is not to say that i don’t want a husband that helps cook and clean and take the kids a bath… but i simply adore the idea of being his wife.

but anyway… believe it on not i’ll save the wedding/marriage post for another day… this one is about being romantic. what does that even mean? so i like birdies and wifeys and adding “ies” and “eys” to the end of words… other than that i’m known for seeing the good in things, before worrying about the bad. i know that can get me into trouble if i give people the benefit of the doubt, but my point is why not? be careful, but still… how can you live a pleasant life if everything you approach you already think is defected or malicious? i rather not live that way.

and sometimes it gets tough… you know the dark thoughts that creep up and absolutely consume me some of the time? those kind of suck. being a romantic pretty much means feeling everything 10 times more than most do. so much sometimes that it really gets old. but i’ll take it. i’ll take it as long as i get to have my sweet moments and happily ever after fairytales.

i’ve always known this. it’s actually something i take pride in. how many people do you meet that still believe in fairies and magic and true love? i like that i’m willing to bare my heart to all who wish see it. but… some people don’t… quite understand it. some people are afraid. i don’t think i will ever ever forget the night someone told me that i was too romantic and sweet. too.romantic.and.sweet. makes sense right? hmm there could be several reasons why they felt that way but very well then i said my goodnight, hung up the phone and realized that they had just given me the biggest slap in the face of my life. why, ask me to be a little less me? a little less everything i know and love about myself? i don’t think so. never. ever. will i change myself for someone. never will i be less of the thing that makes me the happiest. i know that i can be a crazy mess, sometimes i drive myself up the wall with my ideals… but hey, it’s something pretty rare in this cynical world we live in. if it’s too much for you, i apologize. i am truly sorry for your loss.

i will love the magic that i know i have. i will love the wife that i know i will be. i will love being exactly who i’ve always been.