this deserves a post right?
oh… the magic of a goodmorning text, or a goodnight fight over who hangs up first… or better yet a phone call til you both fall asleep. don’t take them for granted ladies and gentlemen, for they are so so sweet. they really do make the world a difference no matter how old or new a relationship is.
note: if i don’t receive goodmornings from my husband after 15 years of marriage, he simply does not deserve me.
well… now that that’s settled, i will briefly explain why we all love them so much… mornings: dreadful aren’t they? if you are not a morning person like me you know that the moment you wake up, you want nothing but to fall back into that lovely dream you were having about kissing Ryan Gosling in the rain after having found out he wrote you 365 letters … but then you glance at that little blinking light coming from your phone on the night stand and you force your glued-shut eyes open just enough to read a goodmorning message. and there. your day just got better. it’s as simple as that people.
i will love these goodthings because they are darling, but no, i don’t need them. heck i’ll be perfectly happy with a chocolate bar on my nightstand to get me smiling, but this is nice.. fewer calories you know? good stuff.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
i will love... my own medicine
i struggled to find a proper word for what it is that i am loving… is it happiness? is it summer? is it the hippie trends i’m starting to follow? is it the fact that i’m single? well, yes. and no. i’ve started this “new breathe” of my life where i take charge of what it is that makes me happy.
i know that it won’t be perfect and i can’t magically escape the overwhelming pull of sadness that comes and goes, but i realize that only i can pull myself out of it. not that other’s don’t affect my mood- i’m afraid i’m one of those chameleon children that take on other’s emotions too easily- but i shall try my hardest to separate my feelings from those around me.
if you know me well enough, you know that i haven’t exactly been the happiest and most stable creature for the past few months for various reasons. i made the mistake of taking on a role of helping someone i clearly couldn’t help, because i was not well myself. things got complicated when i couldn’t decipher whether my worries were my own or someone else’s. in the end, i decided to draw myself away from the “destruction” and do a bit of “cleaning up”.
i physically fought the stomach aches each morning and jumped right into my day. i mentally fought out memories and worries. i started taking walks alone in the evening. i fell in love with tea. i bought a woman’s philosophy to happiness book. i met someone who makes me feel worthy. all good things… but what really woke me up was the realization that i am doing this for myself. at this moment in time my life and wellbeing should really be at the top of my list of things to do. i’m not a wife. i’m not a mother. i’m not a significant other. i am my own everything, so why not take care of myself?
this may sound like i’m claiming to have stumbled across a great revelation, but i assure you i admit that i am still rather clueless. however, realizing that my own medicine is what is making the stomachaches, the headaches, and the heartaches go away, is quite lovely. i will love… this feeling. i love it.
i know that it won’t be perfect and i can’t magically escape the overwhelming pull of sadness that comes and goes, but i realize that only i can pull myself out of it. not that other’s don’t affect my mood- i’m afraid i’m one of those chameleon children that take on other’s emotions too easily- but i shall try my hardest to separate my feelings from those around me.
if you know me well enough, you know that i haven’t exactly been the happiest and most stable creature for the past few months for various reasons. i made the mistake of taking on a role of helping someone i clearly couldn’t help, because i was not well myself. things got complicated when i couldn’t decipher whether my worries were my own or someone else’s. in the end, i decided to draw myself away from the “destruction” and do a bit of “cleaning up”.
i physically fought the stomach aches each morning and jumped right into my day. i mentally fought out memories and worries. i started taking walks alone in the evening. i fell in love with tea. i bought a woman’s philosophy to happiness book. i met someone who makes me feel worthy. all good things… but what really woke me up was the realization that i am doing this for myself. at this moment in time my life and wellbeing should really be at the top of my list of things to do. i’m not a wife. i’m not a mother. i’m not a significant other. i am my own everything, so why not take care of myself?
this may sound like i’m claiming to have stumbled across a great revelation, but i assure you i admit that i am still rather clueless. however, realizing that my own medicine is what is making the stomachaches, the headaches, and the heartaches go away, is quite lovely. i will love… this feeling. i love it.
I will love... my age
i know… coming from the girl that can’t wait to hang birdcages and twinkling lights from the trees on her wedding day, it’s weird right? but yes, i love my age. when do we get to be this young again? when else can we make mistakes and blame it on our youth? when will our bodies be this ready for the next adventure? when can we give so freely of ourselves, maybe hurt a bit, but jump right back up and onto the battlefield once more?
the truth is…we can’t do this forever. if we let this time slip by without seizing the day, we’ll end up… well… not so content with it all. like i said, we’re only here for the time being. it’s practically our job to be youthful and reckless; better sooner than later, because heaven knows what a midlife-crisis looks like…
so take it day by day. live the ups and downs without worrying about an end. the highs can be wonderful, and the lows can be dreadful… but without either one of them we’d be a soulless bunch. it’s hard to imagine, but one day we can’t make these mistakes without severe consequences. not to promote reckless behavior, but seize what’s being given to you. be wise about what you get yourself into, because that too will affect your future, but also remember that you’ve lived through enough to make your own decisions and take your own falls.
and as for me, i must learn to listen to my own advice. i admit that i get caught up in future plans and practicality and maybe i should do more just for fun. i have to work on loving myself at every point in my life. i came up with a sort of motto a few years ago, “one day i’ll be the person i don’t know i am yet”, and yes, i will, but i also have to remember to be the person that i know i am now. i have so much faith in the beauty of the life that lies ahead of me, but i’m losing the life i’m living as i speak.
each day love. and love each day.
the truth is…we can’t do this forever. if we let this time slip by without seizing the day, we’ll end up… well… not so content with it all. like i said, we’re only here for the time being. it’s practically our job to be youthful and reckless; better sooner than later, because heaven knows what a midlife-crisis looks like…
so take it day by day. live the ups and downs without worrying about an end. the highs can be wonderful, and the lows can be dreadful… but without either one of them we’d be a soulless bunch. it’s hard to imagine, but one day we can’t make these mistakes without severe consequences. not to promote reckless behavior, but seize what’s being given to you. be wise about what you get yourself into, because that too will affect your future, but also remember that you’ve lived through enough to make your own decisions and take your own falls.
and as for me, i must learn to listen to my own advice. i admit that i get caught up in future plans and practicality and maybe i should do more just for fun. i have to work on loving myself at every point in my life. i came up with a sort of motto a few years ago, “one day i’ll be the person i don’t know i am yet”, and yes, i will, but i also have to remember to be the person that i know i am now. i have so much faith in the beauty of the life that lies ahead of me, but i’m losing the life i’m living as i speak.
each day love. and love each day.
I Will Love... this blog
This is a blog dedicated to the art of learning to love. My name, Amaré, means “I will love” so it makes sense that I would be a hopeless romantic right? Well, yes in fact I am. A very huge one at that, and I quite love it. Except, sometimes loving too much can be rather dangerous. I do not wish to label myself as “fragile” but too much of anything is never good. Too much “feeling” certainly weighs one down. So… in order to put my romantic (and insane) thinking to good use, I will attempt to conjure up some of my thoughts and share them with you in an honest and hopefully insightful way. If anything… I will continue on with my quest to live up to such a name. I will love….. I will love what? I will love who? I will love when? Honestly, I haven’t the slightest idea. But here goes nothing…
Love,
Amaré
Love,
Amaré
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